For the last several nights, I've improved on my patient-managing skills, plus the ED has been super busy, and I have been seeing 12-15 patients a shift. Last night I saw 5. We just weren't busy. Oh, and out of superstition, you never use the Q Word (quiet) or the S Word (slow) in the ED or the ICU because if you say it, suddenly it won't be.
My patients last night were an interesting mix. Some thoughts:
- if you develop a skin boil and your grandmother tells you to put garlic on it because if garlic is good at helping prevent cancer it will probably kill whatever bad bugs are causing your infection, think twice about taking that piece of garlic and rubbing it in the wound, really (I had to stick a scalpel in it to drain out the pus)
- drunken male teens that get pounded on by bouncers at a club had to have done something to provoke the attack, and if you've been drinking all day and can't remember how you ended up with two guys showing you the door, still think you must have said something, probably, I don't care if you are a nice guy from Canada, I am sure the same rules apply there (I put 6 stitches on the L eyebrow and 3 stitches on the R eyebrow)
- little old ladies from nursing homes get directly admitted, do not pass go, do not collect $200
- exotic dancers face work hazards, I didn't know about all the falls some girls take "working the pole," if you fall off the pole and hit your head several times you might develop some back pain, or seizures, oh, and never accept drinks from customers, you don't know what might be in them
- and, finally, if you're over 60 and your girlfriend has already sent you to the hospital several times after an argument, might be time for a new girlfriend, or else you might end up like my final patient - with a broken rib leading to a collapsed lung (get a chest tube put in and admission to the hospital)
[on the soap box] seriously, domestic violence can happen to anyone, male or female at any age. I got Crisis Services involved with this patient. will he leave his girlfriend, probably not. will she hurt him again, statistically, probably. But, for now he's safe,admitted to the hospital.
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